ILLINOIS BASH SOFTBALL
10 RULES OF PLAYING SOFTBALL (Illinois Bash Style)
These 10 Rules of the Illinois Bash were submitted as a homework assignment from one of the Bash Alumni....
Softball isn’t just an eight lettered word. To a lot of girls out there, it is a lifestyle. You have to have the determination, the drive and the spirit to make it far in the game. If you don’t have any of those, well, I suggest you go back to an in-house team. You start to realize that there are three kinds of softball teams out there. First you have the ones that play for fun and don’t care about winning or losing. Then you have the teams that try a little harder and succeed sometimes. Lastly, you have the elite teams, where it’s cutthroat and if you make a wrong move it can basically end your summer career. If you think this is a joke, you’re sadly mistaken. We play to win, and if you just happen to not be out of the way when we’re sliding into second, well, have fun eating dirt. My team, the Illinois Bash is all about hard work, dedication, and proving to other elite teams that we’re not just your old typical team from down the street. If you want to be on the Bash, here are the ten rules you’re going to need to know that will hopefully help you with knowing what our team is about.
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The first and most important rule for being on the Bash is to never walk on the field. Mr. Goranson (the head coach) will tell you to not disrespect the softball gods and to never walk on the field. If you walk on the field and one of the coaches catch you, you’ll run or be told to do push-ups until you can’t do them anymore. Oh and during the push-ups, everyone will yell at you.
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Secondly, when warming up for games and practice, you need to remember to take your bat out and mitt out and put them all in a straight line. Also, you must have two balls, a cannon ball and a spinner in your mitt too. We are sick of hearing the coaches complain about orderly things so just make sure your stuff is in line with ours. If the following things are not done, it will result in running, running and some more running.
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Always throw behind a runner. If you’re playing first base and you don’t get the out, and there’s also a runner rounding second, throw it. Make her wish she never rounded that bag in the first place. It doesn’t matter if you get her out or not, but it will show the coaches that you’re at least listening to some instructions they have given. Also, if you don’t throw behind a runner when its completely necessary, Mr. Goranson will smack his hands together, growl, make some kind of noise and it will scare you. So if you’re not easily scared I dare you to test him.
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In games, after there are three outs you need to grab your teammate’s gloves and place them in their position. Remember too that some girls wear mouth guards and they’ll have it sitting in their gloves, so when grabbing the gloves be careful that they don’t fall in the dirt because then you will end up cleaning it. If the gloves are not there, or are thrown there, you will get the team in trouble, and trust me, you don’t want to get on these ten girls’ bad sides.
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Never ask a coach how many outs there are. Also never ask what the count is. It is your responsibility as a player to know what is going on with your teammates at all times of the game. If a coach finds out that you are unaware of the outs/count, you will make the whole team do push-ups. Again, no one likes them, so just be smart and remember.
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While up to bat, never move at an inside pitch. Trust me it’ll make you look more like a team player if you get hit and take one for the team, because for a few minutes the coaches will tell all the other girls how great it is that you took one for the team. This will result again in the whole team doing push-ups. If we haven’t established this already, we HATE doing push-ups. So don’t be a wimp, just let the ball hit you because we have ice, and wounds heal.
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After 3 outs, get out of the dugout within ten seconds. This comes back to having your teammates’ gloves ready so they don’t have to waste time trying to find it. If you’re not out in ten seconds, well I guess you guessed it, everyone’s doing push ups. It’s also a little embarrassing when you have to do push-ups on the field in front of everyone. So unless you’re an ace at doing push-ups, I suggest you get out in ten seconds.
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Be aggressive. If you get a base hit and see no one is covering second base and you haven’t gone back to first yet, go. Make the other team make plays on you. Trust me, the coaches won’t get mad if you take advantage of the situation and try and advance yourself. You won’t get in trouble for being aggressive. The coaches will simply ask you why you tried to do something, and if you have a good enough answer they’ll be done with you, or if you don’t have a good answer they’ll take about an hour explaining why you were wrong. Save yourself some time and think of a good answer.
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Don’t say sorry. No matter what you do, whether it’s a bad throw, strike out or anything. Never let the “s” word come out of your mouth. We aren’t nice softball players. We aren’t looking to make friends with the other team. If something happens that you didn’t want, just shake it off and know you’ll do better next time. I bet you know what happens if you say sorry. You're right, we’re doing push-ups. Seriously, we’ll hate you for this.
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The top rule on our team is to never, under any circumstances let a coach pick up equipment. It is not their job to get bats from previous batters that is the on deck batters job. Also it is not the coaches’ jobs to take the equipment to and from their cars. We are the ones playing; it is our responsibility to make sure we have all the things we need. I bet you know what happens if a coach takes equipment. Yeah, that’s right you guessed it! PUSH-UPS!!! If I haven’t made it clear enough already, we hate push-ups. These are the worst push-ups to have to do because you know it was your fault if you’re the on deck batter not grabbing the bat.